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Because People Should Be Advised

Okay, you dogfaces, you've been sittin' on yer hands waitin' for it... it's the only language you really seem to understand anyway:

The Justice League cartoon, The Fairly Odd Parents, and Silent Mobius unite and conspire to help bring you:

HOW LONG WAS MY CLICHE LIST

Okay, it was a lot more than the above sources. It was also my wife Barb:

Barb: "Some of these cliches just jump out at you as being obvious comic book cliches. Others aren't as obvious, but are more insidious and even more pervasive, as they have their roots in pop culture such as television and action movies. A good criterion as to whether some phrase is a cliche or not is this: Have you ever said this phrase in day-to-day life and/or in front of people who aren't in the fan community? If not, either you're reading too many cliched comic books, watching too much fan (cult) television, or seeing too many action-adventure blockbusters.

The solution: read a book, go see an art house film or five, turn off the television and talk to real people, etc.

As the late Joe Strummer put it, "To have output, you must have input." If you only input cliches into your brain pan, you'll only write cliches. You won't be new blood, you'll just be a continuation of the same old shite.

Writers use cliches a lot of the time because they have only been exposed to cliches. The comic book fan community is very inbred culturally and we have weak, sickly blood at times, even when it's NEW blood. We need more people who are a bit outside our gene pool or else the inbreeding will only get worse.

I may just be a voice in the wilderness when it comes to hating cliches, but I'll continue protesting because people should be advised.

Here come the warm jets, to quote Eno..."

(To be read as a Ginsberg-esque beat poem):

Barb: "I saw the best minds of my generation descend into cliches... okay, the second-best minds"


Let's do this
It's over
This is NOT over
This ends NOW
It's ALL over
Under other circumstances, I'd like to think we could have been
friends
You and I are a lot alike
It's payback time
You'll pay for that
This time, it's personal
No one could have survived that
The body was never found
I don't have time for this
You people have become a nuisance
Now you must die
Let her go, take me instead
That was TOO easy
That's the chance I'll have to take
Please... don't DO this
It's quiet... too quiet
I don't want to hurt anybody
The fun's just getting started/This party's just getting warmed up
Prepare to die/say your prayers
I LIED
You've got some nerve/You've got a lot of nerve
I'm sorry... he's... gone
But...you're dead/But you're supposed to be dead
That would make us/you/me as bad as THEY are
Join us/together you and I could rule the world
This is gonna hurt
That's gotta hurt
That'll leave a mark
If anything happens to her, I swear...
You will bow to my will
A can of whup ass...
Medieval on your ass...
I don't want to hurt you
Don't make me do this
Why would someone go to such lengths just to...
There's only one CHANCE
When I came to, I was here
It...it may be a clue
I can't let you live
If you try anything, I WILL kill you
I've done some checking up on you...
You don't know what you're doing
There's no need for thanks
It's the only lead we've got
Let's see what you've got/let's see what you're made of
You can't win
Hey, wait for me
That was easy/TOO easy...
What is it, boy? (Is Timmy down the well?)
What's the big idea?
You want a piece of me?/You want a piece of THIS?
"Why are you DOING this?" "Because I can."
What did you DO to him?
Doesn't he EVER give up?
Is that the BEST you can DO?
Why did you come here uninvited?
Where..where AM I?
How did they find us/how did YOU find me?
Why do we always get stuck doing the dirty work?
What are YOU doing HERE?
Why won't you let me help you?
You WOULDN'T!/Oh, WOULDN'T I?
And this one?/What do I do with this one?/Kill him!
They got AWAY?!?
Meddling Fools!
Works for me!
You stupid fool!
He's not dead! I would have FELT it!
No, DON'T! It'll kill you too!
It can't be you!/Not YOU!
It CAN'T be! // It can't BE!
Feel my power!
I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!
Get him!
Run, get away! Save yourselves!
No, I won't leave you!
Show yourself!
You stupid little man!
We have a situation here!
This is going to get messy!
No! Leave her ALONE!
Can't go on...But I MUST!
Time to FINISH this!
A little help here!
ENOUGH!
The price was too high!
You're going DOWN!
BUSTED!
I am out of here!
He's too powerful!
You're off the case!
He's gone mad with power!
Prepare to meet your doom!
He USED you!/You were just a PAWN in his game!
I will CRUSH you!
They'll pay for what they did!
We're too LATE!
There isn't TIME!
It's up to me/you now!
Stop! You're KILLING him!
Just hold me!
I work ALONE!
THIS is who I am...NOW!
Leave her OUT of it!
I won't let you die!
You can't do this to me!
Now, start talking!
I knew you would come!
You don't know what he's capable of!
We have to help her/him!
You're not going anywhere! You're staying right here!
Playtime is over!
Stop! You're...killing him!
We meet again!
Don't try and stop me!
It's a trap!
Don't look at me! I don't want you to see me like this!
You're CRAZY!
No! Not NOW!
You're powerless to stop me!
This CAN'T be happening to me!
(Please) Tell me you're joking!
I just wish he'd/she'd talk to me!
It's payback time!
I thought that was just a story!
I...I DID it!



Barb's got 6 or 7 pages more where this came from, true believers.

Never one to try to leave you with a cliche, your new cliche-list-appropriate mantra comes from Francois Truffaut.