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“Discovering Your Maine Heritage” –A Dark Shadows Story

by Barbara Lien-Cooper and Park Cooper

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Transcript: Discovering Your Maine Heritage (Episode 95 (S5 E15) now with added Update)

Findley (vocal over images of trees, the Portland skyline, waves breaking on rocks): …You’re watching Channel 10, Portland’s own public television station.

Findley (a thin, elderly man with silver hair and a white beard and glasses, wearing slacks and a sweater and a blazer and loafers) (outside a large mansion, with a slight breeze blowing): I’m James Findley, and as always, I’m your host… for Discovering Your Maine Heritage.

Findley (vocal over sitting at a large wooden library table near a large window with a man in his late 30s, with brown hair and haunted eyes): I’m here today with David Collins, of Collinsport, Maine. We’re exploring David’s family history.

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“Guidance Counseling” — A Dark Shadows Story

Carolyn Stoddard Hawkes stared into the fire of the drawing room.

My father is dead, she thought. My husband is dead. But no one cares but me. My mother has gone on with her life, which isn’t surprising, since she and Father separated years ago. My uncle doesn’t care, because he never liked my father nor my husband. Cousin David doesn’t care, because he’s so young—at that age, everything is about him. Cousin Barnabas is too busy spending time with Dr. Hoffman to care, whatever it is that those two do together… Cousin Quentin is too busy dating whoever he’s dating right now to care… Isn’t family supposed to care when someone’s grieving?

She barely noticed when her uncle Roger came into the room and poured himself a brandy.

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A Dark Shadows Story: “Barnabas Collins and the Queen of Swords”

In a room in the basement of the Old House, Barnabas Collins pushed open the lid of his coffin.

To his surprise, he found, cleverly tied to the side of the lid with twine, a tarot card.

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A Dark Shadows Story: “Go Back To Your Grave”

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(Author’s Note: Technically, Jeremiah Collins is arguably some sort of zombie/ghost hybrid on Dark Shadows.

However, I decided to make him more specifically a ghost, because if the characters saw a zombie, they’d probably try to do something about it, like—at the very least—calling Professor Stokes. Since the show gave me enough wiggle room concerning Jeremiah’s corporeality, I chose to make him a wandering spirit who can no longer be seen by the living.)

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Jeremiah was in the drawing room, sitting dejectedly by the fire.

Roger Collins and Elizabeth Collins Stoddard were arguing about some business decision Roger wished to make. “Roger,” said Elizabeth, “I am the head of this household, as well as the head of the Collins business empire, so what I say goes. This discussion is at an end.”

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A Dark Shadows Story: “Period of Adjustment”

Dr. Julia Hoffman was surprised to see Willie Loomis sitting in front of the Old House. He looked worried. “Willie, is everything all right with Barnabas?” she asked.

“Yeah,” said Willie, “I wouldn’ let anythin’ happen t’ Barnabas… But everythin’ isn’ all right with me.”

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Dark Shadows Fan Fiction: “Before Our Time”

“Good evening! Good evening Barnabas, Julia, please, come in…” said Professor Stokes, inviting them into his house.

“You said that you had an urgent matter to discuss with us,” said Barnabas Collins, as he and his dearest companion, Dr. Julia Hoffman, entered Professor Stokes’ home.

“Come, please, sit down,” said Professor Stokes.

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Dark Shadows: Anatomy of a Scene #4

Okay so here we are with Anatomy of a Scene #4! Today we’re doing the scene from the once-famous gothic daytime TV soap opera Dark Shadows (kind of two scenes, technically, or maybe just one longish one, depending on your point of view) where, in the year 1795, Joshua Collins finds out his son Barnabas is about to marry gorgeous servant girl Angelique instead of Josette DuPrés, who, just a few weeks ago, was the girl everyone (except Angelique, I guess?) thought he was going to marry…

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Dark Shadows: Anatomy of a Scene #3

Okay so here’s the thing: Barb and I wanted to do another Anatomy of a Scene, because this, to us, is Fun. It is F-U-N, as they said one time on MST3K. But we weren’t sure what Dark Shadows scene really NEEDED us to deep-analyze it. There are certainly other great scenes on Dark Shadows, but we would need another one that (1) NEEDED analysis (so that seemed to exclude scenes with Willie Loomis, because they’re all amazing, but they’re also not as SUBTLE as the scenes we’ve done so far), and also scenes that (2) no one ELSE had already analyzed. There are other amazing scenes in Dark Shadows, but other writers have already done a good job of analyzing some of those.

Well, we talked about it, and finally realized that what we might need to get into is Barnabas’ relationship with his father—like, say, the first time we see them together.

As it happens, that moment ALSO happens to be in the same episode where we first get Angelique—just earlier in the episode.

SO HERE WE GO.

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Dark Shadows: Anatomy of a Scene– #2

We’re back, with another installment of our feature Anatomy of a Scene, in which we take a deeper dive into a scene, this time once again from the classic gothic television daytime soap opera Dark Shadows, 1966-1971.

Okay so remember our first Anatomy of a Scene? The talk that didn’t go well between Angelique and Barnabas in Barnabas’ bedroom? Well Angelique has gotten RIGHT TO WORK and has acquired one of Barnabas’ handkerchiefs and a toy wooden soldier that was his when he was a boy, and she is contemplating some voodoo revenge magic for Barnabas (but the audience doesn’t officially know yet that Angelique can do magic, so let’s try not to get ahead of ourselves!)…

https://tubitv.com/tv-shows/508877/s04-e39-episode-370

She’s talking to her new little inanimate friends… ending with the line:

Angelique: You are all I need… to make him regret what he’s done to me…

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Dark Shadows: Anatomy of a Scene #1

Okay, so this is going to be a thing we’re calling Anatomy of a Scene–specifically, this is going to be the first time Angelique and Barnabas are seen together alone in episode 368 (sometimes called number 368/369 for network numbering reasons I don’t want to get into right now) of the TV show Dark Shadows, in the 1795 storyline.

So here’s the set-up:

–Barnabas is the only son of rich parents, and the year is 1795. The place is the coastal fishing town of Collinsport, Maine—except back then, Maine was considered a part of Massachusetts, and not a state all by itself yet.

–Josette DuPres is a pretty rich girl of French ancestry, who has been living in Martinique in the Caribbean.

Now, Barnabas’ dad owns a very prosperous fishing fleet, and Josette’s dad owns a sugar plantation. They would both sort of like it if these kids got married (although Josette has had other suitors in the past who didn’t quite work out, apparently).

–Josette’s aunt Natalie is the Countess DuPres…

–And the Countess’ maid is a gorgeous blonde gal named Angelique.

Reader, Spoiler Alert: Barnabas took a little tour of the Caribbean (he stopped at Barbados, too), and he spent time around Josette. But in those days, young men and women with money were VERY chaperoned, and had to abide by LOTS of rules of being polite and not doing much touching—heck, one hardly ever left such people alone together for five seconds.

So, Barnabas met Josette, and liked her. Quite a bit, actually, to hear him tell it.

BUT, he had a self-esteem problem, and didn’t feel like Josette would return his feelings for her—