Barb Lien-Cooper & Park Cooper

Author: Barb Lien-Cooper

  • “Guidance Counseling” — A Dark Shadows Story

    “Guidance Counseling” — A Dark Shadows Story

    Carolyn Stoddard Hawkes stared into the fire of the drawing room.

    My father is dead, she thought. My husband is dead. But no one cares but me. My mother has gone on with her life, which isn’t surprising, since she and Father separated years ago. My uncle doesn’t care, because he never liked my father nor my husband. Cousin David doesn’t care, because he’s so young—at that age, everything is about him. Cousin Barnabas is too busy spending time with Dr. Hoffman to care, whatever it is that those two do together… Cousin Quentin is too busy dating whoever he’s dating right now to care… Isn’t family supposed to care when someone’s grieving?

    She barely noticed when her uncle Roger came into the room and poured himself a brandy.

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  • A Dark Shadows Story: “Barnabas Collins and the Queen of Swords”

    A Dark Shadows Story: “Barnabas Collins and the Queen of Swords”

    In a room in the basement of the Old House, Barnabas Collins pushed open the lid of his coffin.

    To his surprise, he found, cleverly tied to the side of the lid with twine, a tarot card.

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  • “I” Is Another: Barb And Park Talk About First-Person Narration

    “I” Is Another: Barb And Park Talk About First-Person Narration

    Park: Earlier today, Barb and I were talking about the craft of first-person narration… so, I thought it might be a good topic for a post. So I begin, now, by asking Barb: Who is the best writer you’ve read as far as first-person narration?

    Barb: The first person that comes to mind is Raymond Chandler…

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  • A Dark Shadows Story: “Go Back To Your Grave”

    A Dark Shadows Story: “Go Back To Your Grave”

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    (Author’s Note: Technically, Jeremiah Collins is arguably some sort of zombie/ghost hybrid on Dark Shadows.

    However, I decided to make him more specifically a ghost, because if the characters saw a zombie, they’d probably try to do something about it, like—at the very least—calling Professor Stokes. Since the show gave me enough wiggle room concerning Jeremiah’s corporeality, I chose to make him a wandering spirit who can no longer be seen by the living.)

    ~~~~~~~~~~

    Jeremiah was in the drawing room, sitting dejectedly by the fire.

    Roger Collins and Elizabeth Collins Stoddard were arguing about some business decision Roger wished to make. “Roger,” said Elizabeth, “I am the head of this household, as well as the head of the Collins business empire, so what I say goes. This discussion is at an end.”

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  • What Would Barb Watch?

    What Would Barb Watch?

    Park: Okay so recently someone in my feed said: “I’m feeling a little out of it and I want to binge-watch something, recommendations?” And I hated all the recommendations, except for old Bugs Bunny cartoons. So… I mean, we, ourselves, have recently done old Bugs and Daffy cartoons, and they were still great. But they’re short, so watching the best of them only gets you so far…

    Barb: Okay– recommendations for binge watching: Number one: Backstairs at the White House.

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  • A Dark Shadows Story: “Period of Adjustment”

    A Dark Shadows Story: “Period of Adjustment”

    Dr. Julia Hoffman was surprised to see Willie Loomis sitting in front of the Old House. He looked worried. “Willie, is everything all right with Barnabas?” she asked.

    “Yeah,” said Willie, “I wouldn’ let anythin’ happen t’ Barnabas… But everythin’ isn’ all right with me.”

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  • Dark Shadows Fan Fiction: “Before Our Time”

    Dark Shadows Fan Fiction: “Before Our Time”

    “Good evening! Good evening Barnabas, Julia, please, come in…” said Professor Stokes, inviting them into his house.

    “You said that you had an urgent matter to discuss with us,” said Barnabas Collins, as he and his dearest companion, Dr. Julia Hoffman, entered Professor Stokes’ home.

    “Come, please, sit down,” said Professor Stokes.

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  • A Tale of Two Dorothys (and how they influenced me)

    A Tale of Two Dorothys (and how they influenced me)

    As a writer of urban/dark fantasy stories (Gun Street Girl, Hungry Ghosts (a graphic novel and also a related-but-not-the-same prose novel by the same name), The Talking Cure, and Song to the Siren), I had originally planned to write this essay about obscure female fantasy/horror writers that deserved more attention. I wanted to write about the Weird Tales writer Mary Elizabeth Counselman (“The Monkey Spoons,” “Mommy”) and the quiet horror writer Rosemary Timperley (“Harry,” “The Sinister Schoolmaster”). However, I ran into a psychological block: it’s extremely difficult to find these fine ladies’ works. Oh, if you’re lucky, you may find “Harry,” one of the finest quiet horror stories out there, in a ghost story anthology. If you’re extremely lucky, you may find Mary Elizabeth Counselman’s “The Monkey Spoons,” a tale of fate and tragedy, in a horror anthology. But if you liked their work and wanted more, unless you’re an internet detective the way my husband and writing partner, Park Cooper, is, finding more stories by these women will be an exercise in frustration, as their works are, sadly, long out of print.

    So, I’ve decided to write a personal essay about two women named Dorothy and how they influenced my writing. The first one is an ace short story writer. The second is a mystery author. 

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  • Dark Shadows Fan Fiction: “Table for Two”

    Dark Shadows Fan Fiction: “Table for Two”

    NARRATOR (Grayson Hall): In spite of her best efforts to stay in the past, Dr. Julia Hoffman has found that her spirit is being dragged back from 1897 to the latter half of the twentieth century. Soon her spirit and body will be reunited… and Barnabas Collins will be alone, in a strange and friendless time…

    ~~~~~~~~~

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  • Barb Approves of More Stuff!

    Barb Approves of More Stuff!

    Look, it’s more stuff of which Barb approves! (And I, Park, do, too!)

    —Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974) (also known as The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue) 

    I am not usually a fan of zombie films. They bore me. All zombie films have the same plot: zombies eat a bunch of people, humanity is screwed, the end. 

    Yes, there are exceptions. I love the original Night of the Living Dead, Hammer Studios’ Plague of the Zombies, and the obscure radio production of a Halloween one-off called “The Peoria Plague.” But unless a zombie film has something different to offer me like the Blind Dead films or, I just have no interest in the walking-dead-type films.

    So, I was surprised how deeply affected I was by Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. It had such a stupid title, just for a start. But Kill Baby Kill has a silly title, and I like that film, so, what the heck, I decided to poke those sleeping corpses with a stick to see what gives.

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